Post Program Odyssey

 THERE ARE MANY THINGS HAPPENED

1. Amzar

Ak nda sedar kewujudan dia, I mean never I thought that Im attracted to him even the first day of our meeting. Kalau masa meeting d fakulti pun ak tengok sebelah mata ja. Until this odyssey. We had few eye-contacts. Masa malam di Hatyai, di Asean Night Market. Damn, I felt so different and special. I know he treated me nicely js like he treated other girls. I feel like being weaken. He helped me with the payment, want to belanja air, and makan semua. He bought what I bought like baju untuk anak buah. Idk man. That night is so special for me. I might be delusional right now but I think.. idk.. Something is so wrong with me these days. the next day we treated e/o like usual. Also, masa sarapan kat Thailand, we shared our foods but different plate. huhuhuhuhu..... istg aku lemahhh.. its not like first time ak kena layan gently. Kalau junhan aku paham la. Im not sure about Amzar. lepastu, masa kat UM. Aku pergi tandas pastu tiba2 dia pun ikut pegi tandas. pastu tunggu aku siap lagii. DEKAT PASAR SENI!!! idk i feel like not wanting to hang out with the girls cus idk man dorang mo beli kain sarong pario but like so mahal around rm60+ masatu aku tengah cam mo bajet2 la duit ku apa semua. then, aku cam bawa la dia jalan sbb ak suda ada kain sarong beli di perlis. maka2 berjalanlah kami dua sama2 hihihihihihihihi.... not gonna lie it is cringe but i like it huaaaaa. i actually like being around him... mo nanh=gisss.... we also sarapan together kat pasar seni, masuk art gallery, teman aku beli this and that. basically explong the place together la hehe. and then, balik hotel, postmortem. Lepas postmortem tu dia ajak aku keluar lagi sekali tp ak lambat jawab fon, tu pun sbb mo beli souvenirs. Aku minta kirim dia ja, malam aku tuntut tu keychain capybara sekali dia belanja juga that one :<  HE IS KIND?? and then masa malam exchange gift.. part aku kena panggil tu, aku dapat nama random gabby. but then tiba2 the boys crowd panggil Amzar termasuk sir sekali. idk how to react that time though. huhuhuhuhu...... Riz & Amierul constantly tease both of us. and then bejalan dekat saloma bridge begambar and all. Kami beli air mineral sama2, pastu melekat la sampai berjalan kaki pegi farenheit hotel that around 30+ minutes. Istg I like walking around the night :<< lagi2 dengan diaa :<< that was so special to me. Lain kali kalau mo date jalan2 ja pusing unimas x perlu pun mo keluar jauh2 huhuhu.. ehh kalau la jadi date jkjk.. and last day di KL!! pagi2 tu aku ambil cardigan aku d bilik dia sebab aku urgent kan masa tu.. aku mo minta teman dia hantar pegi epot tapi masa tu dia cam beluum mandi lagi apa semua, and i am informed that dia ni jenis lambat bersiap jadi aku cam lantaklah dia but i told him yang aku minta tolong junhan apa semua. jadi aku menunggu la si junhan di lobby, but then dia sampai tiba2 bagitau si amzar ikut hantar sekali pegi epot. trus aku camm huaaaaaaa.... tapi ak macam mo marah la sama dia masatu sebab DIA LAMBAT BESIAPPPPP ARGH. but sokay. maka sampai lah di epot, 1 jam juga perjalanan, pastu dekat epot dia tolong aku tampal bag punya sticker untuk cabin tu, pastu bawakan bag aku pegi drop baggage tu semua. hes been helping me so much huaaaa :<<  he treated me so well i dont know how to reply him. what if he actually likes me? what if he usually being nice? what if we cling well? idk man. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ROMANTIC SHITS. mo cryyy :<< 

things that i found icks: he likes to brag bro, hahahah i get it for the self love. but this better than he brag about bad things he did. i wont text first until im comfortable. 

Thank you Khairil Amzar for making me feel special and cared. If we have something forward to happen, with open heart I will accept you for being one of my significants. :))) i mean for now. 

2. I dont like some of the girls

for this kan, aku masih question la aku yg problem ka apa. cumanya, aku nda suka ba telampau dramatic, begosip itu ini. jadi aku makin rasa susah mo jadi diri sendiri. im enough realize that Im a cringe-humore-oriented. I cant fit in with their vibe. Idk man. Just so i know i wont work with them anymore. yess yall pretty but some of u fake ass, and judgemental af which i cant handle being surrrounded by. I feel like domt belong but due to professionalism, i had to try to fit in. ykwim.

3. Im beyond grateful to have this opportunity

Im thankful for Nana for approaching me and gave me the opportunity for this journey. Kalau bukan Nana yang tanya aku mo join ka nda i wont get to experience this. Thanks Nana. I also would like thank sir hafiz for all the travel guidance, and try not to burden me for any media stuffs. Idk why he jarang to mention my name. maybe because im a quiet person? actually this is so new to me that people barely to recognize my works or whatever. And actually i dont mind much, it is not that i want to be the next exco pesakma or what. It is just a lucky for me to experience this and be one of the Odyssey participants.

In some ways, I totally get him. 

i rate this experience as 7.9/10. I dont really fit in the groups, to compare as much I fit in to group medsi map 23/24. I wish I dont know all those gossips that shift my perspective to people so that I can enjoy my days better without thinking that I was being judged. 

And last but not least, I am so grateful to Merciful. He ease me for my works, he doesnt let me destroyed when I feel alone even in the crowds. He doesnt let me lose my pray, and gratefulness. He helps me to make way to balik Sabah when I was dumb to even think.